Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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