I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
