So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
