she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
