he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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