4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
