Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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