I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize