He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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