dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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