That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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