White coat. Heels.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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