I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
