if i can run in heels then i can drive
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
