Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Are my feet made of real feet?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
