i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
