i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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