He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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