yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He uses pillows to masturbate.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
