Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
