I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
