Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
