he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
