I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
