Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
