i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
