Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
