i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize