it wasn't lemon gatorade
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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