I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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