I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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