I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
