Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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