I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
