I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My dick has a subreddit
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
