I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
