why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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