You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
