Your face is a jimmy john
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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