Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
