she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
