am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
