Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
