If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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