I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I got her a Nickelback box set.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
