are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
