Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
