You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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