Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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