I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
