He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
