3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
