Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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