Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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