we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just pee around me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
