I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
